Just for the record....

And to make it official----my kids do not own the tv in the living room. They thought they did, but after a battle between the 5 yr old and the FOURTEEN yr old this evening, I laid it down. I have the remotes and they have to ask to watch it. I am so tired of every evening at least 2 of the 3-5 kids in this household think they have God-given rights to the tv set. These same kids are lobbying for tv's in their rooms---HELL NO!!!!! Been there, done that, no more.

As their dad/stepdad said, "they just don't realize that the tv has been OURS all along--we've just been nice."

By the way the blurb at the top of my screen says that IHOP is changing its policy of asking for a photo ID to seat you in the restaurant? EXCUSE ME? When has that ever been a policy? I could see if they were seating you in the bar area of any restaurant, but IHOP has no bar. And quite frankly, unless I am paying for my meal with a credit/debit card or a check, you have no need to see my ID unless I am buying alcohol or entering a bar--where you have to be 21 to be legally able to drink anyway. I don;t know what the whole story is about, but if I was a customer and a host/hostess for a family restaurant wanted to see my ID before they would seat me, they wouldn;'t seat me then or ever again. In any location.

Another blurb----PETA has declared Nicole Ritchie to be their worst-dressed, because she apparently wears furs. Whooppeee dooo. Who cares? Nicole Ritchie is undertalented and overexposed, just like her castmate Paris. And PETA is like the Center for Science in the Public Interest------overrated and paid way too much attention to by people who need to get a life. I have one thing to say to PETA-----I love wild game in it's natural setting---next to the gravy and potatoes!!!!!!!!! Vegetarian is just another name for bad hunter. Yeah I pulled those out of a cheesy catalog. Why did God invent the cow if not for food, clothing and shelter?

What the .......

So as I am driving home from the grocery store, I decided to take a slightly different route, as to make a left hand turn out of the store was a near impossibility at that time of day. So I go this different way, and as I pass by one subdivision where the speed limit is 45 on the main road Iwas on, I checked my speed to make sure it was right on. As I make the curve on the outside of this area, where the speed normally goes back up to 55, I was about to tell the geezer in front of me to pull his finger out of his rear and put his foot on the gas when I noticed something wierd. The speed limit sign that has said 55 for the last 2 decades at least now says 45. 45???????? On a rural 2 lane highway? Well, the guy in front of me wasn;t giving me any choice about it, so I went 45. When I got home, I called my dad, who travels that road more often than I do, and he said he hadn't noticed it himself. We both wondered when that happened.

Of course in this area, if you lower the speed limit, then generally that means most drivers are going to go even faster just to spite it.

Hmmm....good thing I noticed the sign--at least I'll be prepared next time---to look to cops as I'm driving!!!!!

Beta.....

So I am still trying to figure out this BETA blogger thing. I transferred my stuff, now I am trying to figure out how to add pics and the like. I clicked add image but the stupid thing just sits there and does nothing. Kind of like my family on occasion. LOL.
Anyway, I was reading the Sunday paper today and there is an article about kids growing up faster today and is it a good thing? Let me just say---NO IT'S NOT!!!! Just look around the schools. My 16 yr old stepdaughter said there are at least 7-8 girls in her grade alone that are pregnant. She says she just can't imagine being a mom this young. I told her to keep that viewpoint and remember it any time her boyfriend of the moment tries to get fresh with her. She knows by heart--and so do the other kids--that getting or getting someone pregnant is the quickest way to end your childhood. They have also all been told about the STD's, etc. They have been hearing about this stuff from me and their dad/stepdad since they were old enough to ask the questions.
Some people told me early on that I shouldn't give them such info at 10,11,12. Well, heck, kids are having kids that young. You have to give them the answers they are asking for---and I don't sugarcoat it. I didn't tell my son at age 6 how his soon-to-be baby sister was made--just that Mommy and Ronnie love each other very much and sometimes people have babies when they love each other. He was happy with that answer. Now of course he knows the basics of sex, at age 12.
But the growing up too fast part isn't just about having babies. It's about the stuff our kids get thrown at them each day--like the song lyrics from so many different songs. The only genre I have found to be completely safe is Christian and instrumental. Kind of limits your choices, but at least with the Christian music we listen to, we can get the beat from soft pop to hard rock to country to everything in between, although I still eschew rap in about any form (my ears are old and can't take it anymore). My 14 yr old son came home and told me that one of his friends apparently didn't get why he won't listen to Slayer and the like. My son told him that he will not listen to music that glorifies evil--as in this group's latest album where they claim to choose the Anti-Christ. No we're not Bible-thumpers, but we do have standards we uphold ourselves and our kids to.
How about the tv shows? And movies? So many are full of sex and violence and blood and gore, and it is gratuitous. It is not needed for the storyline. Same with the language. One of my favorite shows is CSI:Miami. My older kids--14 and 16--watch it with me and my husband--and we discuss it. They are not just left to watch whatever whenever. I block channels like MTV and E!. Our cable system is horrible in what they offer---not to mention the service----but the good side is that I have to block 2 channels--and only I know the code--and that leaves the others to monitor---and we don't have to do a lot of that, just certain shows. I don't let my 5 yr old watch CSI. A lot of the day when the tv is on, it's on Nick Jr. or Disney. And even some of that is innappropriate. We try to teach our kids that what they see on tv is not real life. And we do talk about a lot of what we watch, so that we get their viewpoint and they get ours. When we ban a show or channel, the kids get our reasons. They may not agree with them, but they are expected to abide by them.
We don't let our kids date at 10,12,14. This has been an issue with the stepdaughters, as they are in the custody of their mom, who sees nothing wrong with it. But we enforce the rules at our home--and the girls know that. The oldest gets 10 or 15 minutes on the phone with her boyfriend, in the living room, no privacy. I don't sit next to her, but with the possibility that anyone can hear what she says, it curtails the talk. I tell her she is still lucky--I had to stand in the kitchen and talk on our corded phone--the only one in the house.
We don't allow our kids cell phones or phones in their rooms. Cell phones--heck, our bill for the two of us is bad enough. All I need is to add more lines. I have a house payment and kids to put through college. Why on earth would an 8 or 10 yr old need a cell phone? They should be in school, daycare, or with their parents. At all times.
I'm sure I'll have more on this later.

What goes on in men's minds?

So I spend the late morning and early afternoon cleaning my house--dishes in dishwasher, clothes gathered, sorted and put in washer, all common areas swept, vacuumed and picked up, kids got their rooms back in order as I did ours. Then husband comes in from doing the final, we hope, yard mowing of the year and takes a shower, and leaves his dirty smelly clothes laying on the floor, as well as his old grassy shoes. So I say "Are you going to take those to the laundry room and put your shoes up?" and he looks at me, grabs his stuff and stalks off, slamming the front door behind him when he takes his shoes back out to the garage. So when he comes back in, I try to apologize and let him know I didn't mean to p*** him off, and he just looks at me again and says, " I'm just doing what I was told to do," tells the baby (5 yrs. old) goodbye and walks out to go to work.

I give up.

I'm not even supposed to be doing the half of what I am doing around here on orders of my physical therapist--apparently something is all out of whack with my hip joints--it's the best way I can explain it without going into 3 pages of details- and I am not supposed to climb or lift anything. Yet I am doing whatever I can, with the help of the boys mostly, mainly because it drives me nuts to sit day after day. And I am getting ready to go to the grocery store--if I can get up the nerve to even attempt the store the Saturday after Thanksgiving. It may end up waiting until Monday after I get done with therapy.

So what is the deal? Does he want to be waited on and picked up after, because I am not his mother, and one would think after he sees the house is clean, he would want to keep it that way. Or did he just not notice? I'm used to that, but still.......it's not like I sat on my butt--or the kids either---while he was mowing.

To heck with it. Maybe there was something in my tone, but how exasperating is it when you have worked your tail off and no one respects it? I'm sure we'll get over it in no time, but right now it is still fresh and aggravating......

update.....

After a conference with 3 of my oldest's teachers yesterday, I got to come home and ream him over his grades in the one class. The other grades are very acceptable. I figured that there was a problem with him when he started hedging on what his grade was in that class--and sure enough he has several very low test grades, but also zero's on the assignments leading directly to those tests. So he got some ground rules laid down to him last night and the warning that that grade had better come up dramatically the next 6 weeks--since this one is nearly over---or in the future he would find himself minus video games, etc., in lieu of studying. And this weekend he gets to lay out all his papers for me so I can look over them and find out where else he went wrong.
He thinks it is a sign of weakness or something to ask for help in class. Even his teachers said he never asks for help. So we tried to impress upon him that it is better to ask for help than not. At least then, we know what he is having problems with, and hopefully can help him before he gets bogged down and frustrated.

The permission slip thing for the other kids ended up being a case of pass the buck. So I am trying to engage others in the local paper's forum. So far the only taker is my dad.

and it gets better and better.....

Did ya ever get the feeling the right hand knows nothing about what the left hand is up to? That has been my evening.
Chris was gone from school most of the day for the school required job shadowing thing from my prior posts. At 5:30 this evening, the phone rings and it is an automated messge from the school board telling me that Chris missed one or more classes at school today and would I please follow up with my kid? Yeah, I followed up with him--he laughed his *** off. Then I called the little automated line at the school board, got routed to attendence and left my own message-----you people need to check your records--my son was out of class due to a SCHOOL required function.
Wonder if I'll get a call back? Yeah, I'll hold my breath.
Then the other son didn't come home with any kind of note about the field trip this Friday, so I called the school at 4 pm (that's when he gets off the bus) and left the principal a message to please return my call as I had an issue concerning my 7th grader. About 6:40 pm, the phone rang and guesss who it was? Nah, just his recording that "attention parents of 7th graders, they will be going to MU for ......." and he went on and on about it. He's still getting reamed---and if I don;t get satisfaction from him, then I start with the board office--and each elected board member if need be. It's absolutely asinine for them to think, as my neighbor told me she was told,that as long as the trip is inside the county, they can take our kids wherever without our permission. NOT!!!!!!! Not this mom's kids, they don't.
Parents of the world unite---until we do, the schools will continue to run roughshod over us and our kids will be the ones who suffer.

switch to BETA?

Hmm, the last few times I have logged in to bloger, I have gotten a sign saying to switch to BETA. So do I or don;t I? I worry that my previously published blogs won't move over, and I really don;t want to start a thread here and then lose it in the change. Of course they say that eventually all users will be switched to BETA, so I may as well go ahead. Any advice before I do?

update on school situation

Well, I got my replies to my email to Chris' English teacher-----she is going to meet with me and his other core teachers later in the week, and she had the answers to my questions. Chris will not lose points for turning in his paper tomorrow instead of today, and I know know a little more about how she operates her classroom, so I can keep on top of him better. Not that he is going to like that.
I told Ben that I will give his school today to get a paper to me stating what is the deal with the Friday trip to MU. If he does not bring me home something, then tomorrow morning his principal's butt is going to need medical attention, because I will rip him a new one.
I started a thread on the local paper's forum page about the schools---apparently no one cares--no responses yet.

Sick and tired....

Of teachers and schools thinking they have total say over their students. I never gave them the right to do so. I have never ceded my rights as a parent to the school system.
Case in point: My 9th grader has to do something, by school mandate, called job shadowing. Ok, fine. Not a bad idea, especially as it may give him the chance to view his chosen profession through the eyes of someone actually in that profession. So first off, a month or so ago, when I first got the forms to fill out for him to do this, he was talking about the meeting the counselors had with the kids to go over the requirements. They also gave a list of jobs that would not be appropriate for shadowing--i.e. tattoo artist, etc...Then he told me that they were told that parents have no say in what jobs their own kids shadow. HELLO?????? I'm sorry, but yes I do have a say. I could have told my kids, fine, he could shadow me at my job. I could have said no to his choices. Fortunately they were pretty good choice. I told him that if he is ever told again by a school official of any kind that I don't have the right to have a say in anything to do with his education, then he needs to tell me, because you had best believe, I WILL tell THEM.
Second case: tonight my 7th grader comes home and tells me that he is going to the local univeristy on Friday for a version of a career fair. I ask where is the note, the permission slip? There is none. You had best believe I will be contacting the school in the morning to find out why. They had better have one hell of a reason.
Forget it---there is no good reason. The principal had better be prepared for a butt-reaming. I'm in just that kind of mood, after my 9th grader's English teacher informed his class that unless they turn in the homework assignment from today before they leave on job shadowing tomorrow, they will receive a zero on the assignment. She has an email waiting in her box, and I sense a meeting coming on between her, me, him, and the principal--both for the 9th grade and the school principal.
More to come, I'm sure.......

Is it just me.....

Is it just me or do people get stupider and stupider as time goes on? We have a city council member who states in a pre-election editorial that if the street levy doesn't pass, then the streets won't get paved because the previously enacted "user fee" was not meant to cover paving, just street maintainance. Hello? Anybody home? Doesn't maintainance include paving? I guess that since the levy failed by a very wide margin, that means it's time to tighten the suspension on my van for all the washboard streets we'll have.
Oh sorry, I mean the worse than any streets in the 3rd world. We already have washboard streets and my suspension is already about shot.

eve of election 2006

Well, it's finally that time. And the news stations are going nuts, practically doing exit polls already. That's ok, because I'm already prepared for the news that the liberal left has won it all, although I do hold out some hope that rational America will show up at the polls to do their part. With it being a mid-term election, though and the forecast in this region is for rain, I don't know. I can only pray at this point.

My oldest stepdaughter has done it again, turning someone eles'e tragedy into her own personal drama. Now the two boys killed in that wreck the other night--see prior entries--were her best friends and no one understands what she has been going through. Now before you blast me for being insensitive: The topic was only brought up after her dad had nailed her to the wall for other actions of hers that she had already been told to cease and desist on. Suddenly no one understood her, that she had had a horrible week because of this wreck, etc. Her dad pretty well told her to stifle it, mainly because she said the same thing last spring when two girls from her class were killed in a wreck, and the year before when a girl from her school was shot to death along with her prom date from the neighboring high school, after they were in the wrong place at the wrong time by their choice. They were all her best friends. I grant you she may have known them, but since none of these kids names were ever mentioned by her to any of us until something happened, we have our doubts as to how close they were. I don't doubt the tragedy of it all, I just doubt that any of the reasons behind any of it will sink in to her thick skull.

Apparently I'm not the only one with this trouble--a neighbor of mine has a daughter the same age at the same school, and she is persisting in learning her lessons the hard way too. And she has given her mom the same stories about the best friends thing after each of these incidents. So now I'm also left to wonder---was my generation just as hard headed in our day as these kids are today? My mom says I have always been stubborn--wonder where I get it from?Hmmmm----and I know I was, but I also had parents who were responsible enough to keep me reined in as needed. I wasn;'t allowed to take the car and run around at will. Heck they usually took me to my dances and picked me up from them. I won;t say they knew all my friends and their parents, but the effort was made, and they darn sure knew who I was with and why and where we were going to be until when, etc. I have already told my kids that they can hate me or not, but that is how I am going to be too. To the absolute best of my ability. I can do no less, and still be a responsible parent.

And that is what I am--a parent. Not a buddy or friend with my kids, although we have our buddy-buddy times, and as they get older, we can interact kind of as friends, but I am still MOM first and foremost. I look forward to being friends with them when they are older and going through all the adult experiences that would give us some common ground. But my job is to parent them until they get to that point. They don;t always understand that but I catch glimpses sometimes that show me that they respect that. And besides, I can always be the bad guy--the one to blame when they don;t want to do something or do something with their friends because of the risk of trouble being too great. My oldest son has done that since he was first asked out on a date by a girl in his class--in 6TH GRADE!! He just told her that it was his mom's thing that he not date just yet, sorry. Saved face for him and put the onus on me---and he knew that I wouldn't let him go out on a date at age 11. And he didn;t lie. He didn't have to "let her down easy" or anything, just had to say hey my mom won;'t let me.

the big black trash bag....

My kids' stuff is going to go the way of the big black trash bag. I get so tired of trying to keep MY stuff up and put away, then I have to take care of theirs too? Nope. They got the lecture again today about pick it up and keep it neat or lose it. I also told my husband I'm tired of always being to bad guy, the yeller, so he needed to start jumping in before it got to the point of me getting ready to lose it. Hey it's his house too. He can do this just like I can.
I think I have the 4 yr old straightened out for the moment--I expect to have to help her though. It's the teens and preteens I have the biggest trouble with. They would just as soon walk through fire as to take a step out of their way to pick up a piece of paper on the floor. If I say "hey who left this here?" I don;t get "Oops sorry, that was me." I get "It was so and so and I'm not cleaning up after that pig. Don;t even ask me too. They're slobs."
To put it bluntly--I DON'T CARE!!!!! It's your house,your space, too. Pick it up. If each of them would just pick up one or two things as they traipse through the house hollering they are bored, things would be so much neater.
Or the big black trash bag may have to take over, 'cause mama's tired.

more teen driver deaths...

So I go to the website of my local paper and the first headline I see is that last night 2 more of my kids' schoolmates have been killed in a wreck. This one at 10:30 at night apparetnly on the way to get a friend or go to the movies or something. 2 senior boys going around a curve and losing control.
Last spring it was 2 girls after a school dance and sleepover at a friend's house, on their way back home to go to work or something like that.
And my kids wonder why I am so not going to get them cars and let them loose at 15, 16, 17.
Never.....
nohow, no way, no when....
Need I go on?
Most of the time it is the other drivers I worry about. But then there is the lack of experience and judgment of teens in general. Is it more important to change the cd or radio station or yak with the friends in the car, or should you pay attention to your surroundings? I'm not claiming that I'm the best or most attentive driver at all times, but I do have the experience to know to keep a check on where and how I'm driving. I know in heavy traffic to keep my eyes open and always ready to hit the brake or scoot to the side if needed. That's when the radio goes down and the kids get told to stifle it for a few minutes. I don;t think most teens are taught how to judge distances and speed like we were in driver's ed.
Add to that the fact that---and I was a teen once too----most teens think they are invincible. "it won;t happen to me."
I bet these 4 kids thought that too.

election time stupidity

It never ceases to amaze me, that with all the ducation people purport to have, that they can lose all common sense and what few other brains they possess as election time draws closer.
Case in point: I go to the online version of my area's newspaper today and in the op-ed section there is a letter stating that a vote for Dems is a vote for abortion. As a follow up, in the online forum, some lady writes about the ignorance of the original letter writer. I couldn't resist---I had to respond, and my response was that ignorance abounds in both parties, but that the original writer had some points and all anyone had to do to find that out was to look at the voting records on both sides onthat issue. Golly-gee, Paw, I think that when brains was being handed out, these people thought it was trains and wanted to be on the slowest one possible. Where's my moonshine for my vote?
Which brings up another point---why in this day and age do we still have people who vote straight party ticket for either side? With all the access to news and reports and viewpoints from around the world, why would anyone NOT look at all sides of an issue or candidate and vote accordingly? Straight party voting is great if you are buying the votes of the constituents---I'll give ya a pint of 'shine if';n ya vote for me and all ya gotta do is push the lever for the top block on the paper.........PUH-LEEZE.
I've already decided that after this election, I'm going in to the county clerk's office and changing my registration----I registered Republican in this Democratic state as a protest against the forces that be---as well as the original clerk who actually had the gall to ask me if I wasn't going to register Democrat. I will now be putting my money----and my vote----where my mouth is and register as the independent I am. Apparently that is the only way things are going to change--is if people do and act accordingly.
Yeah Paw ya taught me right.