some delayed thoughts on a radio snippett

Traveling to my sons' school the other day to pick them up for an orthodontist appointment, I was listening to my favorite radio station. It carries a national feed of music with no commercials. Generally it is a very enjoyable station to listen to, and musicwise that day it still was.

But one brief clip just got my goat. It was from the Focus on the Family institute. Now a lot of times they talk good sense, and I'm not saying there was not good sense behind the clip of the day, but I don't think they took their study far enough to really know what they are talking about.

It was on divorce. Their study states that less than 25% of families in this country are nuclear families---mom, dad, kids under the same roof. The lowest it has ever been. Ok, since I wasn't one of those asked to take part, I won't quibble with their statistic. I really don't figure it is that far off.

But in their discussion they brought up that increasingly counselors are seeing children of broken homes and that the parents excuse was that they divorced for the sake of the kids. Well, I usually hear it the other way around--that you stay together for the sake of the kids, but be that is it may, I have also seen the occasional relationship where once the last child hits 18, parents head to divorce court.

Their solution at Focus is to stay together for the sake of the kids. To go to counseling or whatever it takes to keep the family unit intact. That splitting up does way more irreparable harm than good to the kids in all cases. The only reason to divorce is physical or emotional abuse. Otherwise it is just selfishness on the part of the adults.

I give. I see that. I have heard way too many couples who enter a marital relationship with the "well if this doesn't work out, we'll just divorce and move on to the next" attitude. And they do. Several months or years down the road, one or the other decides they are "just not happy anymore" and split, leaving behind their spouse and kids for their own selfish motives.

But then there are those of us who have lived the nightmare of divorce that could have been avoided if only......if only the other person would have attended counseling with us, if only the other person were willing to change the behavior that sundered the relationship, if only the other person would give up their "thang" on the side.......

My husband and I have both been through it. My ex left claiming he just wasn't happy. Now I fully admit that we were not good for each other and marriage was probably not our smartest move.....although we would never have thought so at the start....and I have my suspicions as to what the true source of his feelings were.....and my husband now divorced a wife who was cheating on him and refused to stop. In each case we tried to pull the marriage back together and the other party refused to change the behavior in any way, even though we were doing all we could to facilitate it. It comes to a point where when Mom and Dad have reduced themselves to the point of screaming epithets at each other and that is conversation, it's time to get out. FOR the sake of the kids..

I did not want my kids to grow up in an unhappy household. Day to day bickering, arguing, downright fighting, and the constant tension and all beats a kid down faster than the parents splitting up. I saw it in my relationship with my ex, and I see it in the relationship of a good friend and her husband....when even the kids say it's time for and end to it, then what do you do? When the kids' grades and attitudes start to plummet with all the tension and fighting and sniping in the house, and it spills over to them.....it's time to go.

Sorry Focus on the Family, I usually do not have a problem with your viewpoint on a variety of things, but on this one I do.....I have lived it, therefore I know of what I speak. Apparently, and fortunately, you haven't...and you should thank God for it......

Obamabobama speech to the kids

First let me say that I could not give a rat's rear end if the president speaks to schoolkids on a national level....so what?

What is this: he and his like don't want any opposition. They do not want anyone to say anything against what he says in his speech. Now fine....you want to give a general "hey kids stay in school, don't do drugs, stay out of trouble" speech...wonderful....thousands of politicians do this all across the country in venues from school to rallies to whatever....

But when you speak to a captive audience, especially one filled with MINORS who are easily influenced, then you need to be careful what you say....and I don't think this bozo of a mutt has it in him--or his speechwriters and handlers don't anyway---to not go political and start pushing his agenda on an unsuspecting group.....

I have 3 kids in high school...all are smart and capable of making their own minds up about how they feel about stuff. All are perfectly capable of seeing past any bullshit anyone throws at them. Speak away to them....give them the ammo (knowledge) they need to be able to debate you back. my oldest is a genius at debate--he can argue any point...I've seen him do it..He is good. So are the other kids when they want to.

But if what I am hearing is true, that the speechifying is aiming more at the elementary group, then shame......this is a group still under their parents wings. Still influenced by what they see and hear on tv more and more. I do not feel this group should be exposed to the likely politicking that they will hear. My husband and i have seriously debated whether to send Shellie to school on Tuesday, because at 7, though she is extremely bright and capable of all kinds of complex thought and reason and logic, we do not feel she should have to be exposed to what is rightfully an adult debate. Now, once the advance copy of the speech is made available, if they follow through on their promise, then I will read it and decide from there. And woe be if a switcheroo on the speech is pulled...and I do not put it past them....

By the way...here's some food for thought---when Lenin and Stalin and Hitler and the like all began their little coups and whatnot....who did they begin influencing to their side first?

The youth of the country, that's who....

Think about it......

from our local paper

The last couple of days I've had just enough time to snatch and grab a few headlines from the local paper and read the stories that caught my eye....and actually the two that grabbed my eye first were on the op-ed page as letters to the editor....

The first was Friday, I believe....A lady wrote in and blasted all us good Christian folk for not wanting Obama's health care plan.....even invoked the name of Jesus and informed us that He would care for teh sick and that as Christians we should follow His example and demand passage of the health care bill so that all may be taken care of....

Now, I have nothing against those who are truly down on their luck and have no other way of getting health care receiving it thru the govt....those I will gladly part with the money from my paycheck to help.....but maybe I am missing something, since I cannot and will not claim to have read the whole Bible word for word.....but did Jesus have truck with politicians? I think not. Did he say free health care for all regardless of whether you truly need help or are just plain lazy? You know maybe He did, but I don't see it.......please feel free to point me to the specific chapter and verse and I may reconsider my stance....

As for those who are whining about employer provided health care being too expensive and they can't afford to have their premiums taken from their paycheck so they rely on the system to get them through......grow up and man/woman up....and face the real world... the real world does not hand you what you want on a silver platter....no I do not like the fact that a huge chunk of my pay goes to cover my premiums...but the alternative is not carrying health insurance on myself, my husband, or my kids....and that's just plain stupid, folks.....if your employer offers it, then take it......bite the bullet, so to speak, and cut back on the credit card use and the trips to Cancun or wherever you go that takes all your cash and use it for what you need to before what you want to....I do not want to pay for you if you have the chance to take care of yourself and can...

Then yesterday, a gentleman wrote in and complained about the phone call he received as the parent of a high school student, about a driver's ed course being offered, only $285 for 6 hrs of instruction so your kid can say he took driver's ed and get the insurance discount....Heck my kid got the same call..he attends the high school at the other end of the county from the writer's, and he was smart enough to say "what a scam!" See, one of the selling points of consolidating the high schools in teh county from 4 to 2 in the early 90's was that there would be so much more opportunity for kids to get and take the classes they need and want......well it has not panned out that way, like any thinking person should have realized...and driver's ed is one area where the opprtunity exists and the schools have once again screwed up....when I was in HS, there was no problem getting into driver's ed---even the 10th graders could get in as long as they were old enough....and my HS was 400 kids, plus or minus a few, in 4 grades....my son's senior class will be in the neighborhood of 500 kids.......

So we are going to be teaching him ourselves, and at this point he will probably be 18 before he gets his license....good then he can pay for his own insurance.....

last thoughts for the night....

You know some times I really love Facebook---keeping in touch with friends and relatives.. and reconnecting with people not seen in ages....

tonight I am not sure how I feel about it...because it has given me a link to an old friend who suffered a loss tonight that I cannot even fathom, and it brings to mind how fragile life can be...

I roomed with Tanya at Miami U our sophomore year, thrown together by the housing lottery. We recently reconnected on facebook and though we don't constantly bombard each other with daily greetings and such, we get a little insight into each other's lives and the things going on....tonight her post was such a positive sounding one, about her dad...he has just passed away after a long battle for his life. And her message was so full of the faith I ridiculed her for 23 years ago and have fought to find to that degree ever since. She is celebrating her father and the fact she was so blessed to have had him for a father......I know she mourns that he will not be there day to day, but she is choosing to show the positive....

I would like to think that I could do so in the same circumstance...but I don't know...I know I cried for her loss, especially in light of my own father's medical problems...it just brings to mind how things can change.

stranger smacks crying child at walmart and other tales

I just have a question--will the 61 yr old man who smacked a crying toddler at a Georgia (?) Walmart be prosecuted to the full extent of the law just as her mom would have been if she had smacked the child?

Just a question.....I mean, I have smacked my kids hands, jerked the buggy, hauled them bodily like a sack of flour out of the store and busted their butts once we got to the car......I guess I am lucky no one called CPS on me for that.....but while I would deal with my kids, I would not come close to allowing a stranger to verbally correct, much less touch my child to correct them......number one, my kids would not let a stranger near them at that age. Number two, like I said, I will deal with my kids. I have worked too many years in the retail field and seen all kinds of behavior that I would probably bury my kids for....mine will not act that way...

We are into the second week of school and things have mostly settled down....Ben is staying in his photography class that he was stuck in after the powers that be decided that the piano class he was originally enrolled in was too full...he is even talking about taking photography 2 next year.....

This was going to be longer, but hubby is home and the teens have just wiped all rational thought out of my head, so......