Musings from the beach

First family vacation in years. At the beach hundreds of miles away from home..left oldest son, 22, in charge of making sure the house doesn;t blow up and the cat is fed...before you yell, he opted not to come..lol.

So trip down, by car, was rainy beyond compare. It. Rained. Constantly. Didn't get a break from the constant rain til about an hour or two away from our destination. Two days in vehicle with nothing to look at but rain. So since I wasn;t driving, I did a lot of surfing the net on my phone. Facebook, Twitter, my email, different news stories, etc. And I had a lot of time to contemplate the vapidity of the people who make and create and react to the news du jour. And it makes me wonder if no one sees what is happening behind the headlines.

I mean, we've gone from Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner to the Confederate flag to all sorts of little stupid crap in between. Do we forget that we have a President hell bent on making deals with Iran, who would just as soon blow us up as look at us? Do we forget our country is printing useless paper money as fast as it can trying to pretend its way out of debt? That China basically owns us because of our debt? That we have about a dozen seekers of the next presidency who pretend to be conservative out there running their mouths about everything from the debt to transgender bullshit that no one is listening to except idiots like those at Salon who twist everything around? As well as two extremely far far left of center candidates on the other side who think socialism and all is the answer (but at least one cant be depended on to answer her phone when her own ambassador is pleading for help prior to his massacre?) #Benghazi.

I have all kinds of opinions on the social issues of the day...my teen daughter reminds me on a daily basis that I need to get with and accept that LGBT and gender fluid and whatever the hell else they want to call themselves need to be respected and treated as special beings. Um. No. I follow the rule that if you are decent to me, I;m decent to you, but I don;t believe in giving out supposed rights to every little special interest group just because they are the ones currently yelling the loudest. I'm not fighting a social interest battle. I simply want our country to survive.

And unless we as a citizenry pull our heads out of our butts and pull together as a people, we're done. As long as individuals whine and bitch and moan because someone looked at them cross eyed and now they're so offended they need to go cry while laws are passed to prevent people from looking at others cross eyed, then we're done. Get over yourselves. Grow the hell up. Get out of mommy's basement--after all you're 40 yrs old dammit---get a job and get a clue about the world. Inform yourselves, preferably using other sources than Huffington Post. Read a history book, preferably one written before the last 20 years.

And stop paying attention to, and giving attention to, the idiots abounding out there who do stupid crap. Pay attention to those running this country. Vote. Hold office holders accountable for their votes. Make some noise.

To be a cat

I have decided I want to be a cat.

They get to sleep all day.

They meow and instantly get food, water, treats, and attention.

They can scratch and lick whatever they want whenever they want.

No matter what they do, everyone thinks they're cute.

Meow.

Pics are my Chrysm cat...isn't she pretty...

I'm embarrassed to be a female

No, don't take that literally. I love being a female. I love doors being opened for me and the men around me doing the heavy lifting and all...even though I can and have and will continue to do so for myself. I love feminine things, like floaty dresses and short shorts and all.

But what embarrasses me today is the article I read by I would presume a college educated modern female on why she is "Vagina Voting". And I cannot believe in this day and age who we vote for should be decided by what body parts they have.

Vagina voting is something conjured out of thin air by those who purport to be scions of feminism. It means that you let your nether regions decide who to vote for, usually a female or a really nice looking male who is either gay or at least acts like some wuss masquerading in male clothing. I.e. Bill Clinton, Obama, Barney Frank, etc....someone who talks the manhater talk (well except Bill, who liked his women on their knees).

This particular author had a horrible painful experience as a woman...her period. Cough, Gasp. Choke. Pass me the Kotex.   Yes, she ended up with a dumbass of a male doctor who, for her uterine fibroid tumors which caused  an abnormally heavy flow, prescribed not a hysterectomy, but an IUD. Really? This lady agreed to try it and after more months of now constant flow, was in misery. Short story, her hubby apparently decided it was time to switch doctors, and she even admits she simply told him to make the appointment and make it with a female doctor. He did, uterus is now history as are the fibroids, hallelujah.

But her whole theme seems to be since men don;t bleed from their vagina once a month and have ruled the country for 200 years ( her math also needs work), that we need a female in there who knows what it's like to have a bad period. Good God Almighty Above.

Ok, I'm 47. College educated, well read, raised two sons and now a thirteen year old daughter and gasp, we both menstruate. We both wish once a month that Eve hadn't eaten the apple and Adam had had a set of balls and killed the snake....lol...But neither of us has ever wished to be a man, think men are irrelevant or anything else along those lines..we have different political viewpoints, but hey, we're both intelligent females.

The idea of voting for a female simply because you have periods, a vagina, a set of boobs, or whatever, is just abhorent . As is males voting for a male because well he doesn't PMS every 28 days.
We as a country need to get away from the train of thought that we have to vote for someone because of their gender, their race or ethnicity, their religion or lack of, and so on. Heaven help this country if we don;t stop now the tendency to vote for someone because it will make history or we don;t want to appear racist or sexist or whatever.

We need to vote with our BRAINS, not our genitalia. Not our emotions. Not because daddy voted that way or the union tells us to or "ohmygod he;s so hot". Sigh.

We need to question our candidates; we need to know exactly where they stand on the issues important to us...and if they don;t do the job, then hold their feet to the fire. Hold them accountable for their votes and their actions. Recall them. Vote them out.

This country needs strong leadership, whether it's male or female is completely irrelevant. And we as a people need to quit being distracted by  freaking social issues. I don;t care if you are a transgendered mutant midget who is polka dotted.....If you obey the Constitution and uphold it and do your constitututional duty....whether as President or a member of Congress or the Supreme Court, you will have my vote.

You know, I keep hearing and seeing a lot in the news and online about white privilege and race relations and racism.

I'd like to call bullshit on most of it. 

Yes, racism exists. It is pretty much as old as Adam and Eve. Quite frankly, just like most -isms, it's probably not going to go away.

So it seems, to me anyway, that the issue shouldn't be so much that racism exists, but how we, all of us no matter color of skin or circumstance in life, deal with it.

See, I wasn't raised to be a racist or a bigot. I was raised to see people as individuals, not their skin color. And that is how I have raised my kids. 

But I have been accused of being racist because I don't automatically back down and apologize for being white. Why should I? My skin color is an accident of birth..my parents are white, therefore it stands to reason that I am also white.

Why should I hate on my color, which is nothing I had any control over? Why should I apologize for the fact that slavery happened? That things like Little Rock and the KKK happened? I don't ask for apologies for the fact that coal mine owners oppressed their workers, even though my poppaw was a miner. There is not a person alive today that was either a slave or slave oowner prior to the Civil War. So yeah I hate like hell it happened, just like I despise the fact the Holocaust happened... But it doesn't make me guilty of it, nor responsible for it.

Nor am I responsible for things like Ferguson. I'm not the idiot who committed a crime and got shot by a cop for refusing to.obey a direct order to stand down. Was the cop.right? I don't know...but I do.know that if I feel threatened and I.have the means, I will defend myself...and while protest is great, when done correctly..peacefully...what happened in Ferguson was neither... Nor was it a protest..it was a wholesale excuse by those purporting to be supporting the family of the, quite honestly, thug...to loot and abuse, and steal and rape and even kill. 

Call me wrong, call me stupid, call me a blkeeping right wing nut job of anything but a white woman. You wouldn't be the first..but people need to quit looking for scapegoats and start accepting responsibility for their actions. 

Try starting  there, instead of blaming every one else for your poor choices.

new discoveries

Or maybe not so new, just reaffirming what I already knew...some things in life  are just better or easier dealt with when you have someone to lean on.
Case in point...left work yesterday and drove to meet with the guy I am seeing, object to see a movie maybe dinner too..just spend some time together... And my car, which I was planning to take to the mechanic this week for him to check out, decided to give up on me. Died on me an hour away from home. On a Saturday night. Wonderful.
All sarcasm meant.
So I go for a mental breakdown, stopped only by two things. .this is not a side of me he needs to see, ever, Lol...and it really wasn't going to help anything if I lost my mind.
So we made the best of the situation, enjoyed spending the extra time together....still in the stages of finding out new things about each other.. And tried to get the car started again this morning, only to end up having it towed. Figured it was the alternator, but the shop couldn't find anything wrong.  So I am now back home, car ran fine, hoping all work in the morning.
My point is that he kept me sane. Kept me laughing and not overthinking the problem too hard... A "we will get through it" mindset. I've missed that. And it felt really good to know someone was there to give hugs and support and care enough to be there.

holy jumping house cats

Yeah I said house cats. I have one. She is an 8 month old black cat, actually a tuxedo cat. And she likes to jump. And chase things that aren't there. And reside in my bathroom while I do everything from shower to well you know.    Lol...
The reason I bring Miss Chrysm up is that she brought joy into our home last summer when there was very little. She is a cuddly cat, loves to snuggle with us. And she has the most gorgeous eyes.
She even refrained from climbing the Christmas tree...we placed ornaments for her to play with on the bottom branches and play with them she did!
She gives us all something to laugh at even when the day completely sucks. I also haven't seen the slightest hint of a mouse or lizard in the house since we got her...Lol
So y'all can have your dogs, nothing against them, but I'll take my cat anyday...

Life goes on

As I write this, I am getting ready to head out on a date. Yes a date.  My life has taken a drastic turn in the last year. My now ex husband left in February of 2014 and our divorce was final in May 2014. My world and that of my daughter was thrown into turmoil...the only reason I do not bring my sons into it is they are adults. It affected them greatly as well, as this was the man they had been raised by.

The reasons for the divorce are mine and his. Suffice to say, I did not want the marriage to end. I did not want to divorce. I would have given anything to work it out and stay married. But it takes two people willing to do so and that didn;t happen.

Hence the title of this post. Life goes on.

I have mourned. I have gone through every stage of grief there is, and sometimes I think I invented a few more. I have buried myself in work and my daughter. We almost got a dog, but got a cat instead. I still fight financially to survive. But I could not live forever in grief and anger and denial and the past.

So I moved on. I joined dating sites and talked to a couple of decent men and wrote off the majority of the others because the funny thing is, I still believe in love. I still believe in the fairy tale. I'm not sure it actually exists, but then again, isn;t that what faith is all about? I mean, I believe in God, and there have been days that faith is all I;ve had. And even that hasn;t been very strong. But it's getting there.

Anyway, one evening around the beginning of November, I was driving home to an empty (except for the cat) house after work. My daughter was at her dad's for the weekend, my sons still at college. I pulled out of the parking lot and just cried and ranted and raved at God. Then about halfway home, I dried up and laid it all, the stress and anger and everything, into His lap. I gave it up to Him.

Funny thing is about two weeks after that, I went on my second date with a gentleman I had first met online after my divorce. I had gone out with him once and we continued to talk and text each other throughout the summer and fall. Between my busy life and his, we never managed to go out again until the weekend before Thanksgiving, about two weeks after I surrendered my burdens to God. My daughter again was with her dad so this gentleman and I went out to dinner. And we have been seeing each other since.

And with that, I have to run grab a shower if I;m going to make the movie with him....but I am happy again. I don;t know the future and I'm really not thinking too far ahead. I still have some healing to do and I don;t know what that is going to entail or how long it will take. But right now I am happy and my kids approve, so I'm going with the flow.

And planning on blogging more often...my life is slowly coming back to normal..or as normal as it gets...lol....