You know, I keep hearing and seeing a lot in the news and online about white privilege and race relations and racism.

I'd like to call bullshit on most of it. 

Yes, racism exists. It is pretty much as old as Adam and Eve. Quite frankly, just like most -isms, it's probably not going to go away.

So it seems, to me anyway, that the issue shouldn't be so much that racism exists, but how we, all of us no matter color of skin or circumstance in life, deal with it.

See, I wasn't raised to be a racist or a bigot. I was raised to see people as individuals, not their skin color. And that is how I have raised my kids. 

But I have been accused of being racist because I don't automatically back down and apologize for being white. Why should I? My skin color is an accident of birth..my parents are white, therefore it stands to reason that I am also white.

Why should I hate on my color, which is nothing I had any control over? Why should I apologize for the fact that slavery happened? That things like Little Rock and the KKK happened? I don't ask for apologies for the fact that coal mine owners oppressed their workers, even though my poppaw was a miner. There is not a person alive today that was either a slave or slave oowner prior to the Civil War. So yeah I hate like hell it happened, just like I despise the fact the Holocaust happened... But it doesn't make me guilty of it, nor responsible for it.

Nor am I responsible for things like Ferguson. I'm not the idiot who committed a crime and got shot by a cop for refusing to.obey a direct order to stand down. Was the cop.right? I don't know...but I do.know that if I feel threatened and I.have the means, I will defend myself...and while protest is great, when done correctly..peacefully...what happened in Ferguson was neither... Nor was it a protest..it was a wholesale excuse by those purporting to be supporting the family of the, quite honestly, thug...to loot and abuse, and steal and rape and even kill. 

Call me wrong, call me stupid, call me a blkeeping right wing nut job of anything but a white woman. You wouldn't be the first..but people need to quit looking for scapegoats and start accepting responsibility for their actions. 

Try starting  there, instead of blaming every one else for your poor choices.

new discoveries

Or maybe not so new, just reaffirming what I already knew...some things in life  are just better or easier dealt with when you have someone to lean on.
Case in point...left work yesterday and drove to meet with the guy I am seeing, object to see a movie maybe dinner too..just spend some time together... And my car, which I was planning to take to the mechanic this week for him to check out, decided to give up on me. Died on me an hour away from home. On a Saturday night. Wonderful.
All sarcasm meant.
So I go for a mental breakdown, stopped only by two things. .this is not a side of me he needs to see, ever, Lol...and it really wasn't going to help anything if I lost my mind.
So we made the best of the situation, enjoyed spending the extra time together....still in the stages of finding out new things about each other.. And tried to get the car started again this morning, only to end up having it towed. Figured it was the alternator, but the shop couldn't find anything wrong.  So I am now back home, car ran fine, hoping all work in the morning.
My point is that he kept me sane. Kept me laughing and not overthinking the problem too hard... A "we will get through it" mindset. I've missed that. And it felt really good to know someone was there to give hugs and support and care enough to be there.

holy jumping house cats

Yeah I said house cats. I have one. She is an 8 month old black cat, actually a tuxedo cat. And she likes to jump. And chase things that aren't there. And reside in my bathroom while I do everything from shower to well you know.    Lol...
The reason I bring Miss Chrysm up is that she brought joy into our home last summer when there was very little. She is a cuddly cat, loves to snuggle with us. And she has the most gorgeous eyes.
She even refrained from climbing the Christmas tree...we placed ornaments for her to play with on the bottom branches and play with them she did!
She gives us all something to laugh at even when the day completely sucks. I also haven't seen the slightest hint of a mouse or lizard in the house since we got her...Lol
So y'all can have your dogs, nothing against them, but I'll take my cat anyday...

Life goes on

As I write this, I am getting ready to head out on a date. Yes a date.  My life has taken a drastic turn in the last year. My now ex husband left in February of 2014 and our divorce was final in May 2014. My world and that of my daughter was thrown into turmoil...the only reason I do not bring my sons into it is they are adults. It affected them greatly as well, as this was the man they had been raised by.

The reasons for the divorce are mine and his. Suffice to say, I did not want the marriage to end. I did not want to divorce. I would have given anything to work it out and stay married. But it takes two people willing to do so and that didn;t happen.

Hence the title of this post. Life goes on.

I have mourned. I have gone through every stage of grief there is, and sometimes I think I invented a few more. I have buried myself in work and my daughter. We almost got a dog, but got a cat instead. I still fight financially to survive. But I could not live forever in grief and anger and denial and the past.

So I moved on. I joined dating sites and talked to a couple of decent men and wrote off the majority of the others because the funny thing is, I still believe in love. I still believe in the fairy tale. I'm not sure it actually exists, but then again, isn;t that what faith is all about? I mean, I believe in God, and there have been days that faith is all I;ve had. And even that hasn;t been very strong. But it's getting there.

Anyway, one evening around the beginning of November, I was driving home to an empty (except for the cat) house after work. My daughter was at her dad's for the weekend, my sons still at college. I pulled out of the parking lot and just cried and ranted and raved at God. Then about halfway home, I dried up and laid it all, the stress and anger and everything, into His lap. I gave it up to Him.

Funny thing is about two weeks after that, I went on my second date with a gentleman I had first met online after my divorce. I had gone out with him once and we continued to talk and text each other throughout the summer and fall. Between my busy life and his, we never managed to go out again until the weekend before Thanksgiving, about two weeks after I surrendered my burdens to God. My daughter again was with her dad so this gentleman and I went out to dinner. And we have been seeing each other since.

And with that, I have to run grab a shower if I;m going to make the movie with him....but I am happy again. I don;t know the future and I'm really not thinking too far ahead. I still have some healing to do and I don;t know what that is going to entail or how long it will take. But right now I am happy and my kids approve, so I'm going with the flow.

And planning on blogging more often...my life is slowly coming back to normal..or as normal as it gets...lol....

here we go again

and here we go.....let me reiterate from prior posts on various sites about this topic....raising min wage sounds good in theory and intentions...but it will backfire....I am all for paying people what they are worth, and maybe I'll actually see it happen to someone in my lifetime....but what it actually does is employers then have to decide if they can afford it or not..and I;m not talking about big business as much as the mom and pop places.....payroll is the most controllable expense any employer has, and if cost cuts have to happen, guess where it's going to happen, b/c the employer is not going to diminish their profits. So hours offered to employees decline, or fewer positions are filled (means less people hired), and the cost of stuff you buy goes up. Der der der......not to mention that those just hired in could conceivable be making more to start than those who have worked there longer....b/c if you are making less than the new min wage when it goes into effect, your wage only goes up to that wage, not proportionately beyond it....so if min goes to say $8/hr, then new hires are hired in at that, but those who were hired in at the current $7.25 up to that $8 mark will only be raised to that $8 level....not fair to those already working that job. I;'ve seen it happen from both sides, as mgmt having to make those payroll adjustments and as the hourly employee having to live with it....

http://www.wsaz.com/news/headlines/Bill-Introduced-to-Increase-Minimum-Wage-in-West-Virginia-241866141.html

I support Phil Robertson

This is the email I just sent to A&E Networks over their handling of Phil Robertson and Duck Dynasty.

I do not know if this email will even get to whoever the powers that be at this network are...but on the chance it does, I am letting you know you have lost a viewer for all time.

Why? Because your network has lowered the boom on a man for speaking his opinion..his personal opinion, one he never claimed to be that of the network or anyone there. Because a very small minority of people who probably never ever have seen the Duck Dynasty show thought that Mr. Phil Robertson was offensive in his opinion, which stems from his religious beliefs.

Sirs/Madams of A&E networks, you cannot legally force a person connected with your network to give up his Constitutional rights of free speech and religion simply b/c you do not agree with either. You knew when you gave this family their show that they stood for Christian values, that their faith was very much a part of who they are and what they do. Otherwise who would watch a show about a bunch of duck call manufacturers?  

I have watched the show because their values are mine. Because it is a show I can watch with my child, age 12, and not worry about sex, drugs, and violence being shoved in our face, not to mention the profanities that most other shows and apparently the FCC seem to think are ok for all to hear. Duck Dynasty, while silly at times, is good clean fun entertainment. Your other programming is either propoganda or wholly made up to get reactions, like the Storage Wars and other junk. 

I sincerely hope you reconsider your decision to indefinitely suspend (a euphemism for fired---your viewers are not stupid) Mr. Robertson and issue a heartfelt and honest apology to the Robertson family and the millions of fans of the show. But I am not going to hold my breath for it and whether you do or not, I hope another network picks up the show, another more tolerant network. you are finished in my book.

I know that the network can s***can a show and cast members for whatever reason...however this one has made a point of stating that this is because of Phil's stated beliefs....Never at any time did Phil claim to be speaking for the network or the show's sponsors..... but quite frankly I am sick and tired, as are many other people, of having our beliefs downgraded, desecrated, and crapped upon simply because a very small minority of folks take offense. I take offense at a lot of people's opinions, Christian and otherwise, but we all have the right to state our opinions, beliefs, and so on regardless of offense taken by others. I may not like your opinion but you have a Constitutional right to it and to state it. As do I. If you are offended by things I say, you have choices---unfriend, block, ignore, reasonably debate me ( and that does not mean saying over and over meaningless things like "but you just can;t say that") and simply shrug and move on. 

I believe in the God of the Bible and His Son Jesus, and I believe a have a relationship with them. No I do not attend a church on a regular basis, although I do have one I continue to call my church home. I do not practice a religion, but my faith.....and not always as well as I should. I also have personal beliefs about gays and other groups of folks. But I do not let them color my relationships with folks I know who are gay. Their being gay or not is not my business. We are commanded to love our neighbor, to love the sinner. Lord above knows I am a sinner, and I hope my neighbors love me as Jesus says. I have no clue if being gay is gene/based or a chosen lifestyle, but I do think that one's lifestyle and choices are between that person and their Maker, whoever they believe that to be. '

I know our free speech rights are limited to a degree---one simply cannot yell "fire" in a crowded gathering space when there is no fire...you cannot use speech to incite panic leading to injury and death....you cannot divulge confidential information about your employer and such---ask any inside trader---there are some limits out of common sense. But to state one;s beliefs, heck I do that at work....always with the disclaimer of "I may be wrong" or "if this bothers you, please tell me and i will not talk about it again." But my place of employment has a fairly close knit group of employees, and no not all of us have the same opinions or beliefs, but we are pretty much a mature lot of folks who understand that we are not always going to agree. 

I was taught to treat people as people, give the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. I do not attack groups of people simply because they are gay, black, muslim, purple polka dotted or whatever. The specific actions of a person in that group, yes. But not the group as a whole unless as a group they do something completely asinine or whatever. 

A&E networks powers that be are simply wrong on this issue. Like the show or not, agree with the stated personal beliefs of any member of the cast or not, you can choose to watch the show or not, to buy the tshirts and related merchandise or not....you do not have the right to demand one of the cast shut up because you do not agree with them. 

I support Phil and the Duck Dynasty cast...The show may drive me crazy with the silliness at times, but I can watch it and not worry about who is in the room with me, because there is no sex, no profanity, no gratuitous violence with the blood and guts, no drug use...It is a good clean show. I hope the show continues, preferably on another more tolerant network.

manners, propriety?

...with the disclaimer that I realize anything can be photoshopped or spun to suit the storyteller....

So all day today I have been treated, anywhere I go online, to a set of pictures. They are of the Obamas, seated at a memorial service for Nelson Mandela (If you don;t know who he was, please google it or at least read something more reliable than mainstream media or wikipedia). They are seated next to a blond, apparently the PM or some such of Denmark maybe? Michelle is not looking pleased as hubby participates in taking a selfie with the blond. next pic shows O and Michelle having switched seats....hmmm...

Now this brings to mind a question or two....one is...as a married man in the public eye (or a married man in general), would you take a selfie with an attractive blond while wifey sits there looking undeniably not pleased? Now if said blond was a relative, that changes things somewhat, but somehow don;t think that's the case here. Plainly if you do, you have no consideration for the feelings of the wife....which could make your home life a little dicey, to say the least.

Number two----as president of a country, representing said country at this memorial event, broadcast on tv and internet worldwide, should you not show a little decorum? Laughter may be appropriate at certain times...i.e. an amusing story involving the deceased, etc....but to be blatantly ignoring social mores by self picture taking and so on...really Presidential behavior, huh?  

Just a little classless and crass, I would say.

But also not limited to the actions of O and his ilk/followers.....I see it too often in everyday life too....

When did it become socially acceptable to wear pajamas and houseshoes out shopping or to any other activity not involving an emergency trip to the doctor or hospital? Or to let ginormous ta-tas hang braless and flopping under teeny shirts not designed to cover them? Or to wear britches with the waistband down so low that anyone who cares to look and more importantly those of us who would rather not see such sights, can see one's underwear down to the crotch of it?

When did it become de rigueur for children of any age to dictate to their parents what is going to happen...like buying them something or letting them do something just because they want to? When did being the parent become such a bad thing? Not to mention applying some discipline to those little brats you gave birth to?

I know I fight a losing battle trying to raise my kids to go against the stream...but I see some wins.....I see kids who have grown up to be thoughtful of others...who for the most part keep the appropriate body parts appropriately covered, who shake their heads at how kids are let run loose in stores and other public areas and vow to raise theirs with some rules and standards. Maybe not always as I would wish, but then I parent differently than my folks did to some degree also....